Is this why you are a perfectionist?-the new perfection…
There are certainly bright sides to perfectionism. Perfectionists usually aim for the best and they set excellent standards. But we have redefined perfection in a previous post to good enough. The new perfection, while shooting for the stars, recognizes the fact that we are not infallible; we can make mistakes. The new perfection teaches us that mistakes are not regrets because life is all about living and learning. The new perfection projects the truth that as humans we have the power to evolve and be better version of ourselves.
Perfection is an illusion. It is unauthentic and therefore unattainable. This is why it leaves the people striving for it forever disappointed, miserable, depressed and lonely. We are not perfect; We can never be prefect. All we can is better version of ourselves. You have got to be okay with that truth, embrace it, celebrate it and live it.
For every action, it is said that there is a reason for it which you may or may not be consciously aware of. So here are some reasons why people embark on the futile quest for perfection.
Low Self-esteem: this was my reason for striving for perfection. My deep insecurity made feel like I had to prove my worth by getting perfect grades and performing perfectly in any given task. Like I mentioned earlier, it is not bad to aim for excellence but you must understand that you are not infallible. No one is. You can make mistakes, it doesn’t reduce your worth. Learn from them and move on.
We are human beings which means we can be constantly evolving, growing and being. You should not measure your worth by your performances or output. A lot of parents do just that with their children. The fact that a child performs poorly in calculus and mathematics doesn’t make that child useless and worthless. Just so you know, a Professor in Mathematics may be a complete novice in Philosophy. We all have individual strengths and weaknesses and we shine brightest when we are being ourselves.
Comparisons with others: comparison does not prove a thing! I strongly advise you check out that link. We are all unique and different and that is what sells us. Tied to our individuality is our importance. To stand out, you have got to be different and be okay being different. Perfectionists are always comparing the selves with others. They compare themselves with anybody that they feel is better than them, has a more luxurious car than theirs, wears better clothes than them, with more achievements than them… and this robs them of joy and contentment. The truth of life is that there will always be someone better! You have got to start appreciating yourself more.
Fear of rejection or disapproval: Rejection is one man’s opinion of you. So many people strive for perfection because of their deep rooted fear of rejection and criticism. No matter how well you live or perform, there will always be someone that will disapprove. A knife sometimes needs to be rubbed against a rough surface just so it can function better. The friction improves its performance. The same is true of rejection and criticism. Instead of viewing them as a threat to your person and self-esteem, see them as teachers to learn from or roughness that will improve you functionality. Remember, we view things the way we perceive them not the way they are. Change your perception of rejection first.
We make mistakes and we we grow from them. We fail today and we rise again to become stronger…. and that’s the beauty of being human.
Are there reasons you feel we failed to mention? Please leave a comment because it will be really helpful