Why you should make excuses for people
Nobody is perfect. The best we can ever be is GOOD ENOUGH – Lonixe
Expectation, it is said, is the root of disappointment. The mistake we make sometimes is that we expect perfection from flawed people, to be human is to be flawed. To be human is to have weaknesses and the ability to strengthen them. Our inordinate expectations from people most times is the reason why we get disappointed. I’m not trying to say it is wrong to expect a particular kind of outcome or result from people. Of course not! I am trying to say that even in your expectations you should take into recognition the unpredictable nature of humans and their weakness.
Now the question is, “why should I make excuses for people?” You need to first understand that making excuses for people is to help you and your emotions far more than it helps them. I like to say that it helps you protect your sanity. Making excuses for people’s certain actions places you in a position to be more understanding, tolerant, patient, caring, and loving. Above all, it helps keep bitterness at bay.
Why should I make excuses for people? Well because life is not all black and white. There are shades of gray. People have issues that plague them and most times we may not know of them. So when we make excuses for people, then we may be able to get to learn of these issues that may have caused them not to meet up to expectation.
I personally have had some eye opening experiences regarding to this. I have had moments that people didn’t meet up to my expectations and most of the times it generated bitterness and anger within me towards those people and these two are the most toxic emotions to feel! They are acid to the soul. Majority of the time, I ruled out those people as incompetent and lacking in integrity. But the truth is that sometimes these people had genuine reasons for their failure to meet up to expectation, other time they don’t. I will give an instance for better understanding.
Alex on his way to school greeted a particular lady and she didn’t reply him. Now he can do one of these…
- Get angry and grow bitter. Feel insulted and snubbed. Resolve never to greet the lady again.
- Excuse the lady…
- “Ahh, maybe she didn’t hear me”
- “Oh, poor lady. She may be in a bad mood or something bad may have happened to her.”
- “maybe she is pondering on something crucial”
If he does this, he finds himself developing love and concern towards the lady.
Did you notice that each of these scenarios had the emotion they triggered? The first triggered anger and bitterness while the second triggered love and care.
It is what you say to yourself that determines the emotion that will be triggered. The right attitude indeed begins with you.
We love you guys.