A Pain Worst Than Death



A tragedy need not have blood and death, as long as there is unimaginable pain; there lies the very pleasure of tragedy-Jean Racine

‘Wake up, wake up!’

I heard a distance voice calling out to me in my dream. Grudgingly, I opened my eyes to see my friend staring down at me.

‘What is the matter?’ by just looking at how worked up she was, I knew something was seriously wrong.

She tried to talking, but between the tears streaming down her face and her body convulsing with unspoken pain- she was having a hard time saying anything coherent. Right then, I knew something was wrong; I knew something really bad had happened.

Oh God, let it not be what I am thinking, please let it not be…


My whole world stood still. For some seconds, I stood frozen to the same spot, totally unaware of everything around me; even the wailing of my dear friend could not shake me out of my trance. And for the next 10 months, I understood why they say sexual abuse is worst than murder…

I watched in silent grief as my one time lively friend became a mirror image of herself; she became withdrawn and sometimes suicidal. Finally, with collective efforts of friends and family, and personal determination on her part, she was able to climb out of that pit of depression and self pity.

A United Nations statistical report compiled from government sources showed that more than 300,000 cases of rape are recorded by the police annually. This reported data covers at least 65 countries. Mind you, this report does not include the estimated rape statistics of those countries per year. For example, South Africa has 500,000 rape cases per year; China has an estimated 31,833 rapes per year, and the United Kingdom has 85,000 rapes a year.

I have never really understood why people have sexual relations with others against their will? I have always wondered what pleasure they derive knowing that the victim of their assault is weeping and crying out for help. The truth is I doubt I ever will.

Yes, rape is worst than murder, rape is worse than death. Because when you kill a man, the pain he feels is only for the moment. But when you rape a man, he or she is forced to relieve that incident over and over again…and for some people, a part of them die that day.

While some of these victims end up becoming stronger than their scars and a success story…some never do.

Some of them end up losing faith in life. They allow that tragedy from their past to determine the outcome of their future…and they never heal.

Some of these victims end up becoming mirror images of what they use to be. They become withdrawn, depressed and suicidal. Some of them find it very hard to make their future relationships work; the feeling of guilt, lack of self worth, and unreleased anger make it hard for them to stay in any form of relationship.

You know the sex offender you hear about; the prostitute by the roadside, or the serial killer on the loose? Well, some of them are only repeating the circle of abuse they face at some point in their lives. While some do it out of revenge or pure hate (because they feel the world denied them the justice they deserve), others do it because they feel dead and worthless inside.

I think it’s time we ask ourselves some questions. Is the short term pleasure we feel worth the long term pain we cause our victims? Let’s think about the lives we destroy when we assault people sexually, mentally or physically…the fight against abuse is not a ‘society thing’. We are the society; it’s time we make an individual decision to value the lives of the boy, girl, woman, or man we see every day.

You matter. I matter. He matters. She matters…the fight against sexual abuse starts with us understanding that every time we abuse someone, we kill that person over and over again…

It has been said that time heals all wound; I do not agree. The wounds remain, in time the mind protecting its sanity covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens; but it is never gone- Rose Kennedy

Hi friend lets hear your story; have you ever been abused or do you know anyone who had been abuse? What lesson have you taken from that experience? We would love to hear from you, you could be helping someone out there by simply sharing your story…

Have a lovely day!

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *