TELL YOURSELF WHAT YOU WISHED OTHERS WOULD 2
In our previous article, I explained the effect the words we accept and believe could have in our lives. Now, let’s explore reason why you need to tell yourself the things you wish others would….
Some people are sadists who derive joy in seeing others hurt. These kinds of people are miserable and discontented with life, so they will say and do anything to make you as miserable as they are. So when you meet these people, what do you expect? You can’t expect them to say nice things to you because they don’t have it them. You can’t give what you don’t have. So the best thing you can do is tell yourself those things you wished they told you.
Some people grew up in hostile environment filled with negative emotion and energy, where words like ‘you are dumb’, ‘you are lazy, cant you be like…’, ‘why are you so fat, you will soon end up alone without a husband if you don’t…’ were used as chastening tools. So they grew up believing that those hurtful words are the only way they can communicate.
For years, I despised that lecturer for those words he said to me. But when I allowed Jesus to take control of my will, I forgave myself and my lecturer. I discovered later that he never fully understood the effect of his words on people. To him, that was the only way he knew to encourage his students. His parents had used the same tool of name calling and verbal abuse on him as a means of encouragement and chastising.
Again, don’t wait for people to tell you how pretty you are, because those people could be struggling with self esteem issues.
I knew of a bully in high school who was fond of calling every body fat and ugly..It was quite funny because she called anybody who wasn’t a size zero like her fat (and that’s like 95% of our class). It was years later, when we have all grown out of some teenage tantrums that we met and spoke for a long time. It was then she told me that she used bullying as a defense mechanism to hide from her inner struggles. She was battling with low self esteem and anorexia, and she wanted people to be as miserable as she felt….
People experience mood swings. Now while some people have disciplined themselves so as not to allow their moods to influence their words and action, some have not. And this is another reason why you should not wait around for people to tell you the things you wish to hear. I love my mother; she is the best mother in the world. But my sweet mother has one flaw-her opinion of people change with her moods! When she is happy-I am the best daughter in the world. When she is sad- I am stupid and annoying. To live with that kind of person, you must decide to always get hurt or to protect yourself from her varying opinion- which is exactly what I did.
Don’t let your opinion of yourself depend on what people think of you. Because people’s opinion of you can change depending on the mood and circumstance.
Build your self esteem on the word of God. Keep confessing the wonderful things God says about you till your mind accepts and believe it. Then become the best of you no matter what people say or do not say.