They Are Watching-The Silent Victims of Abuse…

It has been said that time heals all wound; I do not agree. The wounds remain, in time the mind protecting its sanity covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens; but it is never gone- Rose Kennedy

Last month, there was a trending video on face book; it was a video of an Asian man who was mercilessly hitting his wife in front of their young son. The video was caught by the CCTV camera in front of a store. The video sparked a social media outrage; not only because the man was beating his wife on, but because the little boy had to watch this whole episode play out in front of him.

We hear so many cases of abuse; physical, emotional and psychological abuse. We hear cases of wife battery, alcoholic parents, drug addicts parents; and we pay so much attention to those victims that we ignore the kids who watched the whole thing silently….these are the people I refer to as the silent victims of abuse.

We are living in a world where kids are introduced to the harsh reality of life at a very young age. Studies have shown that 3-4 million children between the age of 3-17 are victims of indirect or direct domestic violence every year. 95% of domestic violence cases involve women victims of male partners. The  children of these women are often witness to this violence.

I think it is very important we pay attention to these silent victims of abuse…because they effect the abuse will have on them could affect not only the children, but the society later in life.

Growing up, I was told the family is the smallest unit of a society; and if the family fails, the society also fails… this is not so far from the truth.

Most of the prostitutes, murderers, sex offenders, petty thieves terrorizing our society today experienced a circle of physical, sexual and psychological abuse growing up….while this does not in any way excuse their later decision in life, I couldn’t help but wonder how different their story could have been if their childhood was any different

Many experts believe that children who are raised in abusive homes grow up seeing violence as an effective way to resolve conflict. They usually find themselves replicating the violence they witnessed as children in their adult relationships. Boys who witness their mothers being battered as children are more likely to do the same in their adult relationships. For girls, they are more likely to get attracted to abusive men (because that’s all they saw growing up, and to them it is a norm in any relationship)

I had an extensive study on the lives of some famous serial killers and sex offenders; and believe me when I say I was not surprise that they themselves were victims of abuse. It is really saddening to know that lack of affections kids experience could turn them into societal monsters!

Children are gifts from God; and it is our responsibilities to protect them as much as we can. We should not rob them of their innocence by introducing them to the harsh truths of life at such tender age. If we really want to see a change in our society, we must pay more attention to our children. It is our duty to give them the best childhood memories; protect them, teach them, and let them know that there is some good in life… because they are watching.

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