The truth about success people don’t talk about…

the truth about success people dont talk about..

‘Most self help gurus have it all wrong. They tend to give generic advice and assume we are all the same…we aren’t and we have years of science to back it up- Motivation Grid’ In my final year in college, I was assigned to a project supervisor who in a way inspired today’s article. She was a very intelligent woman, and had an obsessive need for perfection. Her academic record was one to die for; and that made her measure every one with a particular yardstick.

The thing about most scholars is they tend to view success through a needle eye. They see success academically, which in a way leaves out the not-too intelligent student….and my supervisor was not an exception. We were five students assigned to her as project students; some of us were not as brilliant as the others…. And she wasted no time to point that out to them. One of us, Matt was her least favorite person, Matt was the least brilliant and she made his life a living hell. Most times, I wondered how if the words of my supervisor ever get to him (because he was always laughing!)

In our final days as undergraduate, our school held a ‘success tip’ seminar to help educate us (the outgoing students) on what it takes to be successful in the outside world. Really, they should have called it a ‘book seminar’ because it was centered on making us believe that only those of us who graduated with stellar grades would be successful. After the seminar, I was quite certain that most of the attendees would go back feeling demoralized and depressed. Because I attended the seminar with Matt, I didn’t waste time to voice my anger and annoyance with the organizers of the seminar to him. I was expecting Matt to affirm to all I was saying, but his statement after my ranting surprised me and reminded me of the power words have on our beliefs.

‘Well, everybody cannot be successful, I have accepted my fate that I was not born to be successful”…

That statement shook me to my bone. Then I understood that the cruel words of people like our supervisor, and the constant reminder of his poor academic performance have become shaped his belief of success. So many people are like my supervisors, and so many people are like Matt. You go to seminars and you hear the speaker talking about ’10 ways to become successful’ and all the while he is talking about ’10 ways to become rich’. I never graduated with a first class; the truth is after the many success seminars I attended, I thought I was never going to be successful; because they all revolved around academic performance.

The worst thing you can do to yourself and to the people around you is to define success with one yardstick. Success is not the extent of your wealth, success is not your academic performance, neither is it the beautiful job or house you have….it is the contentment that comes from achieving your dreams… We are different and so is our dreams…

To one person, that dream could be to graduate with amazing grades- that’s success for him!

To another that dream could be to skip school and make money, that’s his success!

Another person may have the simple dreams of getting married and raising her beautiful kids- that’s success for her!

The young lady who dreamt of burning of the extra calories, when she finally succeeds can call that her success!

Whatever your dreams are, no matter how minute or how large, the contentment that comes from achieving them is your own success! There is no one yardstick for measuring it. We are different with different dreams, goals, likes and dislikes; and therefore it would be a huge dishonor to generalize success base on the dreams of just one person. It’s time we stop pushing our youths to the brick of depression. Let’s stop destroying their confidence by making them believe that success is but one thing.

Mark Zukerberg is a successful man and he is not an academic scholar like Steve Hawkings (who is also successful!) Mahatma Ghandi was a successful man and he is not as wealthy as Bill Gate (another very successful man) Mozart was successful and he was not a financial wizard like John Rutherford What’s my point? Success is the contentment that comes from living your dreams-whatever they are. So don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise…

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