Why you should be sensitive to other people’s emotions
‘You embarrassed me whenever you call (on phone). Your voice is so loud. The -plain truth is you embarrassed me and I would love if you don’t call me again, better still just send me an email…’
I smiled to myself when I read the chat, and I replied by simply typing ‘ I don’t care!’ After I hit the send button, I turned off my phone, laid down on my bed and close my eyes….in an effort to convince my heart that of a truth- I really didn’t care…
Words are bullets; once you fire them, you cannot take them back; that’s why we must be very careful of the kind of words we say, and the tact with which we deliver those words. We should learn to take the sensitive nature of other people’s emotions into consideration before we speak.
Words can deflate or inflate a man’s self esteem. Words can influence or destroy a man’s success. They can also save or take a man’s life….isn’t it funny how the simple words we speak on daily basis hold such power? No wonder the bible said that the power of life and death lies in the tongue (proverbs 18:21)
So many homes have been destroyed as a result of careless words spoken in anger. So many friendships have been lost in the valley of hurtful words….but my question is this: if we already know how potent our words are, why then are we quick to speak without considering how the other person will feel? Why have we failed to apply tact and wisdom when we are dealing with people?
Why you ponder on these questions, i would love to give you reasons why you should be sensitive to the emotions of others….
1)You would be destroying a person’s confidence and self esteem-self confidence is everything. From your self confidence, you can tell the kind of life you are bound to live, and the depth of the success you could achieve. Our self confidence is the magnet that attracts friends, wealth, ideas and success; and the worst thing you can do is to destroy another’s self esteem. Lack of self confidence is what drives people to depression and suicide.
We can use our words to reduce a person’s self esteem to nothing. That is what we refer to as bullying. Bullying can be physical, emotional or psychological…whichever it is, the common trait in all is it leads to depression, and possibly suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in 4,400 deaths per year, according to CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. About 50 per cent of girls experienced psychological bullying, and 45 per cent males physical bullying.
2) If the tables were turned, you won’t love it-I tell people ‘you are your best critic, motivation, examiner and counsel. Remember the golden rule that says ‘Do to others what you would want to be done unto you’? Before we say or do anything, this rule should be a sort of checkmate to guide us. Don’t be quick to voice your emotions without asking yourself the simple question ‘how would you feel if the tables were turned?’
3) You could be destroying a friendship or relationship– words have the power to mend or destroy relationship; and arguably, a lot of relationship can testify to that fact.
In the beginning of this article, i started of with an excerpt from my conversation with a friend. I can be very loud and a bit of a talkative when I am with friends and loved ones…while some find this attribute of mine charming, there is a few others who don’t share the same feeling . A friend of mine who belonged to the latter decided to let me know his ‘honest’ thought about this ‘peculiar’ character of mine. My disappointment was not in truth he pointed out to me, but in the way he chose to communicate this truth.
It would have been okay if my friend had said
‘You can be excited sometimes; I love that about you! But don’t get too excited around people so they won’t insult you tomorrow’
‘is your phone faulty, because the other time you called me, your voice was quite loud and the people with me thought you were shouting…’
This way he had communicated his message in the best way possible without hurting my feelings.
Some people are emotionally weak; some are going through hard times emotionally, physically and psychologically… so let’s try and be a lot more sensitive in our dealings with people because you don’t know what they are going through.
Remember: Your one kind word or act of kindness can save a life.