Why You Should Tell Her How You Feel

tell how you feel

Yesterday, a friend paid me a visit; I was particularly thrilled by the visit because it’s been months we last saw each other. After she got married months earlier, she moved to another country with her husband. As we talked and talked about so many things, we entered a subject of discussion that inspired today’s article.
She told me she went to her college last month to complete her clearance and get the results of her master degree program. While she was running around for her clearance, she saw a colleague she had not seen since her undergraduate days in the university. On finding out that my friend was married; he was deeply saddened and finally admitted to being in love with my friend for years…
According to him, he had already secured a nice job and a comfy apartment; he was only waiting for the right time to tell my friend how he felt. I silently listened as my friend narrated the whole ordeal, which she found totally amusing; after I asked the question I was curious to know the answer to…
‘Were you aware that he had those feelings for you?’
And without a second thought to her answer, she said ‘of course, I knew!’
Why do people find it had to say how they feel? Why do men prefer to ‘show’ their feelings rather than confess their feelings? Must we wait till the deed is done to finally confess what we feel?
There are so many reasons why people find it hard to express their feelings; the fear of rejection, low self esteem, and the fear of losing that love one being part of the reasons. Yes, these reasons may sound as a good enough, but they are also reasons why you would lose that person you love…
Women are intelligent and smart creatures; the truth is 85% of the time, women know when guys have feelings for them (the very reason I was not taken aback by my friend’s response). As a man you may be asking yourself this question right now, ‘if she already know how I feel, why must she wait for me to say it then?’ The answer is simple- words reveal our true emotions.
Words have a way of conveying our feelings far more than our actions can. That’s the reason why people would prefer to hear you say the words ‘I love you’, ‘I’m sorry’, ‘thank you’… more than the want you to show it. More than she wants the gifts and love poems, she wants to hear you say how you feel. She wants to experience the flutter that comes when a guy she loves finally admits his feelings to her…
One thing I have learnt in all my years working with women is that no woman wants to marry a coward. The harsh truth is everybody wants to be surrounded by self confident people. There is something about self confidence that is attractive, even in relationships. It takes courage to work up to that ‘crush’ and bare your emotions, so take the chance and just do it!
Don’t hide behind your emotions behind your gifts. What’s the worst that can happen? Rejection? Always remember that rejection is just one man’s opinion about you. If she rejects you, it does not mean that you are not good enough, it simply means she doesn’t like what she sees (and guess what? Someone else would love exactly all she sees in you!)
Don’t make assumptions; don’t assume she feels the same way for you, because you might get heart broken when you find out she doesn’t…you may assume the feeling isn’t mutual, only to find out she is silently waiting for you to man up and confess your feelings to her…
Tell her how you feel so you can release your heart of the burden that comes with ‘unreturned feelings’ and ‘secret crush’. Tell her how you feel so you can allow your heart to move on and experience love again…

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